Day 34: Gratitude

It's such a trashy subject that's been done to death, but all the gurus I respect keep harping on its importance, from John Demartini and Rhonda Byrne to Robert Kiyosaki. So let me regale you with a story from today:

I teach music business courses at Soul Candi, a record label/music school for DJs and producers. I guess part of me feels that it's not the pinnacle of a music career. I mean, where are the gigs and the radio songs and the fans and the Grammys? Some people say I should give up on those. Never. Some say I just need to give it time. Okay, I can live with that...

But back to my story: So one of the students came to me in class today and was telling me how difficult his life is, which it probably is. He's from Swaziland, his parents have passed on, he doesn't have great living arrangements and he doesn't have much money. But here's the thing: he was given a bursary to study at the school, valued at almost $4000 for the year. One of the well-known DJs gave him a CDJ thingy (I'm not a DJ) for gigs, plus the school gave him a free set of Sennheiser earphones. Total price tag is probably almost $5000. And he was moaning about his lot in life. I reminded him how lucky he was, and although he wasn't convinced, I hope he at least went to think about it.

But it reminded me of my own ingratitude: I'm doing a BMus degree, which I feel overloaded by. I have already released two albums, which I feel haven't gone anywhere. I have had the privilege of a university education, with 3 degrees, that I feel are meaningless and won't help me with my music career. I have this musical, which I feel won't make me rich or famous. I have a voice that took me 10 years of blood, sweat and tears to get, which I feel is too classical for a pop market. I am able to stay in the music industry through teaching music business and vocals, but I still feel unsatisfied that my music career is going nowhere slowly.

I ask myself: WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM??????

This just smacks of ingratitude, and that just pisses me off: I hate ungrateful people, and yet I'm the most ungrateful person I know. Shame on me.

Now is this an excuse to become lazy and accept my lot in life? Hell no! I will fight for what I want in my music career, but maybe it's time to take some advice from a different mentor: I need to live in the now, as Eckhart Tolle preaches. As John Lennon said: life is what happens while we're busy making other plans...

Days to go: 331